Society wants conformity / to keep people in there place. Society is the network effect of friendship. Friendship demands loyalty. Loyalty and self pity differ in an external or internal focus (both: finding fault and making excuses). As social creatures our notion of self is in relation to other people. That is why society empowers double standards and resists equality. A just society is a prosperous society (see open society), but we are tempted to reject justice for friendship. 

The opportunity cost of conformity is high. Being responsible and honest costs. Let us honor those that pay it. 
(earning respect vs social status)
(banality of evil AND explaining is losing, politically)